So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
