So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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