If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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