Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
