He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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