last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
