Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
