dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
