Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
