And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
