And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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