I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
