I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
