Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Small penises have feelings too.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
