you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
