Pappa wants mamma naked
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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