it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
