Pregnant stripper...not hot.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
