the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
