guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
