you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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