what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize