you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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