I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
