sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
