...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
