There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
