and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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