farters have to be the big spoon...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
