dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm passing your future prison.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
