yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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