He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
