Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
only if we run a train.
done.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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