I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she woke up with a sticky ear
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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