Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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