I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
