My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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