It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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