Small penises have feelings too.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
