i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I smell like Dick and happiness
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
