It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
