as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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