I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
