Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
