Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
