She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
