Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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