the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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