I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
