so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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