she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
