I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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