yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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