Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
