I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
