I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
