Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i came on her dog
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is the high leading the old right now
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
