Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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