I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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