you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
