Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
