Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
only you would photoshop your dick
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
